HOW CAN PARTNERS SUPPORT AFTER BIRTH?

Let’s be honest: when a baby is born, it’s not just the baby who needs care. The mother has just gone through something huge — physically, emotionally, mentally. She needs time to recover. She needs to be held, seen, and supported.

And so does the baby. And so do you — the partner.

The postpartum period can be overwhelming, and messy.. but there is one thing I have seen as a postpartum doula: when the partner steps up to take care of the family, everything goes more smoothly.

So what does real support look like after birth? And what can partners do to for a strong, connected start as a family?

1- Take care of the Mother

Your partner just gave birth. Her body is recovering. Her hormones are all over the place. She may be tired, in pain, overwhelmed, or all of that at once.

• Let her rest, and protect her sleep. Ideally, a woman who just had a baby should be in bed for a week, if not more, after she had a baby.

• Make sure she is eating and drinking well and enough. Lots of fluids: soups, tea and nutritious food.

• Try to support feeding as well, no matter how it looks like. If baby is breastfed, make it easy for her:help her be comfortable by bringing pillow, a step stool, a fan.. And take over when baby’s done feeding.

• Set up a postpartum trolley with all the things she will need: water, snacks, burp clothes, nipple cream, tissues..and keep it stocked

• And..tell her she is doing an amazing job. And that you are proud of her.Often! Because she needs to hear it.

Check in on her mental and emotional wellbeing, too. Ask her how she’s really doing. Listen without trying to fix. Learn the signs that might mean she’s struggling — persistent sadness, anxiety, irritability, feeling disconnected from the baby or herself. If you notice something that doesn’t feel right, encourage her to talk to a professional. Don’t wait.

2- Take care of the Baby

Your baby needs care, comfort, and connection and the postpartum period is the perfect opportunity to bond with your baby. Also, one of the most supportive things you can do in the early days is take the lead in baby care so the birthing parent can rest and recover.

• Feed the baby, if that’s part of your role. Feed, burp, clean breast pump parts, and learn the feeding cues.

• Change diapers and swaddle.

• Do skin-to-skin contact. Having your baby on your bare skin while help her regulate body temperature, heart rate, and is fantastic to bond your little one.

• Take baby out for walks, especially during early morning when it’s cooler, and if baby’s been up during a bit part of the night. That gives time for your partner to rest and is a good way to start the day.

3- Take care of the house

The birthing parent is recovering, the baby needs constant care and someone has to keep things running. That someone will probably be you. It’s not easy but it’s essential. A calm, cared-for space supports everyone’s wellbeing. And when the birthing parent doesn’t have to worry about dishes, meals, or paperwork, they can truly rest.

• Groceries and cooking: Batch-cook, order food, and accept meal drop-offs

• Admin and logistics. Baby registration, insurance paperwork and health care require energy and focus

• General cleaning, laundry, etc

• Visitor management. Protect quiet time, space, and boundaries. Not everyone needs to come visit right away.

This is a lot — so plan ahead where you can. Prepare freezer meals. Set up online grocery deliveries. Talk through responsibilities before baby arrives. Ask for help when you need it. And you will need it!

4- Take care of Yourself

And what about you?

You’re caring for your baby, your partner, the home. And it’s a lot. You can’t support your family well if you’re completely depleted. This is why taking care of yourself is necessary.

• Try to rest when the baby rests, even if it’s just lying down for a few minutes.

• Eat well, keep easy snacks and meals within reach.

• Leave the house when you can, fresh air and a change of scenery can help you feel good and re energised.

• Check in with yourself emotionally. If you're feeling off, low, or overwhelmed, talk to someone you trust — a friend, another parent, or a therapist.

You deserve support, too.

5. Ask for Help

There is so much to do — and everyone in this new family unit needs care.

You can’t do it all. And you shouldn’t have to.

This is the time to reach out and lean on your village. Or to start creating one. This could be:

• A kind neighbor who drops off food

• A friend who watch the baby while you nap

• A family member who handles laundry or errands

• A local parents’ group

• If it’s an option, hire a postpartum doula — someone trained to support your whole family through this season.

  
  
  
  

  This is a major life shift. You’re learning new roles, growing into parenthood, supporting someone through recovery, adjusting to a tiny human’s needs. This is a season, it passes. But how you show up now stays with your family forever.

  
  

  I wish you lots of happiness in this journey.It’s hard. It’s beautiful. And it’s absolutely worth it.

  And as always, I am here to support you.

  
  

  With love,

  
  

  Claire